in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
