I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
