New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
