i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize