I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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