I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
