Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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