Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
