I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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