i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
