She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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