I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
