i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
