We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Randomize