Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
