Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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