He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
