Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
