Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize