I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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