Me. At least after what I've been through.
You can't special order awesome
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
