it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize