I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
