Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize