Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
