I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
