I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
