Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
