i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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