You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
