It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
