I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
