im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
