Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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