we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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