At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
