What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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