All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
