I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
