We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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