It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
