Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize