Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
