Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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