I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
