just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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