At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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