I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
