The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
