Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
