i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
birth control should be required to get into college
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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