So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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