just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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