i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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