I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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