k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Randomize
