I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
