Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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