you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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