the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
