We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You were trust falling into bushes
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
