Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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